QUIET PLEASE vinyl
  • QUIET PLEASE vinyl
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$15.00

Classic 140 grahm black vinyl. digital download included. Hand silkscreened beautiful cover. Lyric sheet, stickers
$15 Includes digital download card

The concept: One instrument per song, no instrument can be used twice.  This album was the simplest idea, and took longer than anything I've done. I want to hear the barest bones of each song.  Give me the leanest version possible.  Let me hear the pads letting gently down on the saxophone.  Let me hear your fingers slide on the cello.  Let me hear you breath, let me sit with a long pause of silence.

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This Picture is a Dream
  • This Picture is a Dream
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$8.00

Collection of poems and short stories $8 This is my first book. A collection of poems and short stories.  Focusing on family, love, frustrations, and animals.  Into the third printing of 50.   A Perfect bound book from the Gorbie empire.

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January 8th 2023 (late Christmas celebration)

left to righ: Tim - brother, ME, Mom, Christmas tree, amber - wife, Gordon - dog, Johnny - nephew, Chris - brother.

My nephew treated us to a late Christmas celebration, and a beautiful lodge getaway. He wanted a family holiday, together, in the snow, snug in a mountain lodge. He's been planning this for a while, and it was a present to all of us. He is a real good kid, and all of us were in awe of our retreat for the weekend. At home, on Friday, Amber and I  gathered our presents and a small amount of luggage, and headed for Welches Oregon. Only an hour from home, the drive was easy. Easy in part because the snow Johnny had hoped for did not happen. Therefore the roads were on our side, and in good shape. A winter wonderland it was not, but a time to feel gratitude for family, for what matters, for gifts, for presents, and for love it was.

We arrived around 5:30. I figured the place would be nice but had no idea it would be this cool. A five bedroom rustic lodge is what we came upon. Three floors, a huge fireplace in the middle of the front room, pine paneled walls, and wood floors, real cozy, real plush, real special. The folks that rent the place left up the Christmas tree ( A family before us had actually spent Christmas here). Underneath the tree some gifts already made a home. I brought my presents in a laundry hamper. This is how my grandmother always did it, and I consider it honoring her, and her memory. We put our presents under the tree, and got settled. Gordon has a sense of family (his extended pack) and was full of vim and viger. He was full of love for his pack. 

We ate dinner together in our new winter home, something families should do more of, without distractions, at a proper dinner table. I brought a ham and some scalloped potatoes. A family at the dinner table is a many splendored thing. Mom sat to my right, Amber to my left, Tim and Chris and Johnny, across the table. I felt mom was feeling some anxiety, and knew this entire trip was a little out of her comfort zone. Our whole family deals with anxiety issues. I was grateful she braved the trip and was with us. It would not be the same without her.  After dinner we hung out for a bit, decided to be up early to go out to breakfast and then went to bed. A good first night.

I slept like garbage, but was up and at em early. Made some coffee, and joined my mother in the front room. She slept horrible and had been up since 4 am. My brother Chris was out walking (he's been taking care of himself and losing weight.) So mom and I had a visit. We talked about sleep, and meditation, and panic attacks. Panic attacks also seem to run in the family. We both talk to our panic attacks : "Ok I know what you are, and although you make me uncomfortable you will not hurt me, and you will pass. I have nothing to fear."

We went to breakfast, and the coffee was horrible. I would call it hot water with a stale old drip coffee maker taste. The French toast however was real good. Mom got the same, Tim got steak and eggs, not sure on the rest of the orders, but I think Chris ordered biscuits and gravy (gravy he wanted on the side, but it was not to be) When we got back to the place I took a nap, and it was needed. I did miss something monumental, Gordon jumped into the hot tub. Gordon's legend grows. 

When it came time to open presents, Johnny started a fire, I put on an Elvis Christmas record, and we all took our places in the front room. Johnny (being the youngest) passed out presents. We open presents in order of age, youngest first etc etc. We did a pretty good job of sticking to this, but it did get a little loose here and there. The magic this night is really just sitting together and feeling the joy of family. Our history's are all linked. We have known each other since the beginning (mom of course has us all beat here, but you get it, we all go back pretty far with each other.) 

We finish presents and listen to more music, and before you know it it is all over. We all stay up a little later on this night. We talk, and razz each other. We look at our gifts, ones we have given to each other, and ones we have received. We go to bed and all sleep a little better. ln the morning some of us drink coffee (Johnny has never warmed up to coffee.) We dream aloud about winning the lottery and being able to have a place like this. Deep down we know we are probably not going to ever have that kind of money, but we are a successful family, we really have won the lottery. Who knows, maybe I get a song placed on a cool movie, and my music career takes off. Then I can treat next time, and maybe the time after.

Chapel Recording Studio

December 22nd 2022

I have been at my job for 31 years. I drive a truck for a food distribution company. I'm 57 years old (58 in April.) That means I've given over half of my life to the  company. I have always felt that I don't really care what I do for a living  as long as I can play music. Now I could spend all day telling you about second guessing the decision to work for the man, I wont do that. Like anything, the good column gets filled and so does the negative column. But I hear successful artist talk about going all in, not having a plan B, having to make it or die trying. Truth is most don't make it. Now I'm far too old to quite my day job and go "all in" I'm not sure I ever made the decision to not go "all in" not sure I ever had a choice. I just always wanted my own place, and some independence. Getting a job always seemed like what you did to achieve that, so here we are.

I am only a few years away from retiring. Unless something really shitty happens I will start pulling my pension and living the retired life. Life is short, but it sure seems long to me. I'll tell you that once you start to see the end, the reality of not working coming close, it's hard to shake the thoughts. I'm restless at my job, maybe even burned out. I'm starting to feel tired of getting up in the dark and driving to work. Tired of working all day, and driving home at the end of it. I want to run my own studio, I want to take the dog for long walks, I want to raise a dog from a puppy, I want to drink coffee and read in bed, start my day like that. Giving my life to the working way has made it so I will have some security in my old age. Not sure what will really become of me in my golden years. I'm pretty sure I won't ever win the lottery, or become famous. Me and all you other artist that have kept, and worked a day job, or a night job. I'm tipping my cap to you, to us. For all the times we drug out tired asses in to work after a late night gig. for all the times we used out vacation for a meaningless tour, for all the times we sat and wondered what would have happened it I gave it all to my music. I'm telling you that you have. You have left it all on the field, and will continue to do so......till the end.

The important things

November 26. 2022

I like to take Thanksgiving week off from work. It frees me up to have my time in a casual way. It means I won't be rushed. If I want to spend the night at my mothers house I can, if I want to sit and have pizza with my mother and brother and let the whole world pass me by I can. If I want to spend the morning with my dog, having coffee, and updating my website I can. If I want to spend time with my wife, re-connecting, (because I've been dis-connecting) I can. I also enjoy a good cold winter walk (though now it's warmed up a little and started to rain.) My family, my wife, my dog, my pie and coffee, those are some of the important things.

I spent yesterday working on my new album. In the studio everything gets under a microscope. It's where all my insecurities come out to play. Mainly I put my singing under that microscope. I hope for something that I'm not, a great and natural singer. I have visions of finally being happy with my voice and singing all the songs in one take, and sitting back and feeling content. This rarely happens. I hear every imperfection and often find myself disappointed. Even the songs I think turned out great will be listened to later and re-evaluated as not so good. It's in these moments that I need to remember the important things.

Yesterday I got a lot of good stuff on tape, working only on vocals. I made a mistake and ended up on the hardest song, at the end of the day. I was tired and just couldn't get it right. So I ended the session and went home a little depressed, forgetting about all the stuff that was good that day. This is how I do life sometimes, and it's all backwards. It's damaging to me and others who I share life with. So I open up my MacBook this morning and write about it. Then I look down and see my dogs beautiful eyes, I hear my wife turning over on the bed, I remember Thanksgiving, and watching that new Elvis movie with my mom, having pizza with my brother, running the Turkey Trot and being happy to be healthy. I think how all those things can come together with in my life. Then I reach down and have a bite of pie, and a sip of coffee. For a minute I feel like everything is going to be ok.

September 4th 2022

All my dreams are coming true

That's me standing on the right.  I'm watching Stealin' Yer Booze play at the Longview show. It's my favorite picture of the night. I'd like to tell you, that at this moment, I'm gushing with pride, but that would not be true. It's only now that I see this picture that pride comes in (gushing is a strong word.) At point of this picture, I'm still worrying if more people will come, if everyone is having a good time, is the sound is ok, can I keep all the acts on a tight time frame, will I play well, will I cover my costs, will I sell any records, etc. etc. ect

Looking at the picture now (next day) I am impressed with it all, and I realize I don't get all the credit. It's a group effort, and if you erase everything in the picture but me it's a little sad. I say at shows all the time, and I mean it; The most valuable thing we have is our time, and the fact that everyone in the picture decided to spend that valuable time at the show (as an audience member, or performer) is something to feel gratitude for, and I do

I began the  day with a drive to Longview. I arrived in town a little early, and decided to pay the local record store a visit. I thought maybe I might consign a few of my solo albums. The Stash is a very cool record store on Commerce. I love the fact that it's just down the street from what used to Korean's music store. A place where I took my first guitar lessons, and bought my first guitar. It's also a place that head rows and rows of 45's and also sheet music. A good small town music store (they sold washers and dryers and the such as well) The Stash is owned by a guy named Tyler (he has one employee but damn me I can't remember his name.) A great couple of guys that welcomed me in an promptly bought two of each of my solo albums. Paying me cash (which is so appreciated), and spending some nice time chatting. I hope they can sell those damn records, I hope they can sustain a long business. Longview needs a cool record store and this is that. Grateful for them.

Then I went home to visit mom. The door was open when I walked in, and she was getting ready to meditate. I said "Don't stop, I'll meditate with you", and so we did that. Just a little 10 minute beginner session (which a beginner is what I am) This was a highlight of the day. My brother came over and we head some dinner, then we left for the show. 

My brother Chris helped set up, and work the door. Dead Hollows brought the P.A. Tyler and Todd both were a big help in setting up the show. I always get a little manic when trying to set up for a show. In the end all was ready to go in short time. All the bands turned in great sets and stuck to the time frame. I felt I played well, and was grateful for my band: Brandi Starbird and Adam Sullivan. I'll do it again, and again. The doubt will creep in about all I do, then I'll wrestle with it and keep moving forward. I will have to fight off negative thoughts and worries. And after it all I'll find myself at home with a bowl of ice cream. Feeling hopeful, and grateful. Flawed and human to the end.

 

 

TWO SHOWS IN SEPTEMBER

September 3rd & September 10th

September 3rd is a good 'ole. hometown show. Grass roots in nature, and cooly intimate. The show is in the small room at the Woman's Club. This has been a venue with many memories for me. When I was a teenager local rock bands would rent the place out and have shows. Then it was a different kind of thing. The bands did mostly covers, and those consisted of a wide variety of current and classic rock/metal. If you were lucky they would have a keg of beer. An underage boy I was, getting a taste of suds. I have fond memories of those nights, dreaming of some day playing my own show, and showing them how those metal riffs should sound. 

I was also married in the Woman's Club, the same room this show will be in. Old dark wood, fireplace, pine adorned walls. I remember my knees knocked when I was saying my vows. Until then I thought knocking knees was a myth. I also remember the reception after. I had my brothers punk band M.I.S play. I got too drunk, and made all the adults leave. Honestly I'm a little ashamed of that day.

The Longview show features an all Longview line up. Good friends who have made they're mistakes and lives in Longview. Show will start on time at 8pm. $5 measly bucks will get you in the door and promise me I lose money. It's ok, and I mean that. It's why I have a day job.

The September 10th show is in Milwaukie. We're in the Annex right next to the chapel theater. If you come early or hang out late I can show you the little studio I'm part of. Headlining the show is St. Even (Steve Adam or you might know him as Steve Hefter) Steve live's Baltimore and whenever he comes to town I feel compelled to have a show. It's a good way to make sure I hear him play. Steve lived here in Portland for a while. I met him at the White Eagle open mic. That's also where I met Jake Kelly. this show is oozing with talent. 

July 18th 2022,

I have begun tracking guitar for a new album. It's been about 5 years since I recorded a new album. In the video I'm using a click track in my headphones. This will make it much easier for the other players to add their parts. I hate using a click, but I'm trying to get used to it. I have this thing in my head that tells me it will sound robotic, and without feeling. This of course is not true, and the tempo actually gives you some freedom. I'm trying to not fight it. On this day I tracked 5 new songs. Really looking forward to it.

Milwaukie Porchfest

July 15th 2022

I'm sitting in my backyard, listening to Buck Owens, and reflecting on the weekend. Friday I played the Milwaukie Porchfest. It is a great idea, and credit does go to the city of Milwaukie, and the Milwaukie arts counsel (I think that's the folks responsible.) for the great effort. I could get off on a tangent about the city and it's code enforcement, but I wont divulge into a resentful complaining session. It was the firs time I was able to assemble the entire band. I guess we're a band, it's always hard when the thing is just under your name. Always feels odd compared to my history of playing in punk rock bands. Then it was always a band, and you had a name for that band, and even if only one or two guys wrote all the songs it still felt like a gang. I'm always seeking a sense of family, or camaraderie. The show was a joy, and the folks filling the yard were a pleasure to play for.  

MAY 3RD 2022, 

On May 13th I am having a soft opening for the new recording studio. An idea that started with Toody Cole giving me Fred's Scully mono tape deck (A tape deck Fred never had the chance to restore.) I couldn't fit the console  in my small house, so I asked The Chapel Theater if I could rent a space in their basement. That's where I started to learn about this deck, and the all analog world I hoped to build. With the Scullly fully restored I started recording friends and making demos of my new songs.  I purchased a nice UA tube preamp, Mojave tube mic, and compressor. The vision is keep it simple, make the road to creating uncluttered. One mic, full track mono tape deck, make beautiful warm music.
I have also just added an Otari 8 track. It will be an option soon.

Then The Chapel Theater came to me and said they had an opportunity; "We've purchased the building next door (old day care center that was part of the old church), now we have a place for you to build a real studio. They also knew someone that was interested in building a studio (I couldn't afford the rent alone.) So I started a new venture and partnership with Brian Vierra. Needless to say we are figuring this all out (and each other) as we go. We both hope to offer a non intimidating place to create your music. 

Please come to the May 13th show (if you can) Opening the show will be Jake Kelly ( who I met at the White Eagle open mic.) Jake has been teaching me about amps, mics, and compressors. He is also a friend, and so glad he said yes to this show. It's 6 years since he's played a show, and he's excited and terrified (I can relate)

Camp Crush are a synth pop duo. I met these two wonderful folks at Twin Paradox open mic. The two were not a couple at the time but they are now, and make super catchy 80's style sugar! So grateful for their participation.

I will be playing a set with some friends helping out. Mostly new stuff that I hope to record in my very own studio.

Below I've put together a photo gallery of the studio project. We still have more to learn and more to add, but I'm really looking forward to this being something I do when I retire from truck driving.