I'm sitting in my backyard, listening to Buck Owens, and reflecting on the weekend. Friday I played the Milwaukie Porchfest. It is a great idea, and credit does go to the city of Milwaukie, and the Milwaukie arts counsel (I think that's the folks responsible.) for the great effort. I could get off on a tangent about the city and it's code enforcement, but I wont divulge into a resentful complaining session. It was the firs time I was able to assemble the entire band. I guess we're a band, it's always hard when the thing is just under your name. Always feels odd compared to my history of playing in punk rock bands. Then it was always a band, and you had a name for that band, and even if only one or two guys wrote all the songs it still felt like a gang. I'm always seeking a sense of family, or camaraderie. The show was a joy, and the folks filling the yard were a pleasure to play for.  

I'll get a hair cut and shave in March. Then I'll look ten years younger. I did notice that you come to an age where that doesn't really work anymore. Ten years ago,. after getting a shave and a hair cut, folks would always say "man you look 10 years younger" Now they don't say much at all.

Been doing a lot of work on the studio lately. I have also purchased an Otari 8 track tape deck. This might be the machine I recored the new album on. You know it's been almost 5 years since I released an album. Seems myself and the world are going along fine without any new music from me. That said I am proud of the material I have for the next record. Get to it one of these days.

I was joking with my wife that there's too many pictures of me on here. I guess the website is titled Barry Brusseau.

The time has come and left for me to let my website go. I was real close. I've got a Bandcamp page going and I would appreciate any of you giving me a follow. Go here:

There is something in the air. It usually comes in December. When the seasonal change really starts to set in. You can perceive it in October, and November, but December is the real teller. Stepping outside in the early morning, taking a deep breath (I always take a deep breath when I leave home) My lungs and sense of smell are filled with a drug. It is intoxicating, and best of all there is no crash, no sense of guilt, no regret. The first buzz I get is a simple time travel buzz, a feeling. It's an immediate conncection with walking to school as a boy. I'm almost 11 years old again, walking with my saxophone (I remember thinking it was so heavy.) I'm in touch with feeling a little nervous, (the school year is still young) feeling cold, and probably worried I didn't study or finish any assignments. All those seemingly negative emotions are overshadowed by one heaping feeling......my blood is alive with possibilities, with dreams that come when you are young.

The other part of the recipe is Christmas, the hopes of a white Christmas, the colors and smells of that particular holiday. You can't downplay the excitment of a young boy looking forward to opening presents. I fondy remember believing in Santa Clause, and watching all the holiday classics, Rudolph, Frosty, Grinch etc etc. My mother, grandmother, aunts, uncles all made this a time of feeling loved. I may have lost my father very young, and my stepfather was a heavy drinker, but mom and family always made me feel loved. the saying is true: People will forget things you say and do, but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

That gift, that feeling that comes back every time I step out into a cold December morning, will never go away. How strong and eternal is that? I'm grateful for it, and those memories. I'm grateful I stopped smoking and drinking my life away, so I can take a deep enough breath to conjure up all those feelings. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY.