The coffee I made this morning is just so so. I use one of those mesh metal filters, the kind you can use over and over again. I find them to be inconsistent. I must admit, I prefer the good old fashioned paper filter. Grumpy and irritable, that's been me lately. My wife gets the worst of me sometimes. Coffee doesn't help, but my addictive gene cries out, and has it's way far to often (though the wreckage is much less severe.) The weather has changed, and winter cometh. I plan on this being the last winter that I work, or, should I say, drive truck for US Foods. 36 years and I'm about done. Retirement scares the shit out of me, and sounds beautiful. What will I do with myself, what will become of me? I fear I will lose some unexpected thing from my current work life. Something that keeps me together, that I don't know is keeping me together. Does that make sense?
I'm working on the new album. When I say that I mean I have complete and incomplete songs. I have recordings of some, and partial recordings that I'm not sure are good etc. etc. Self doubt dogs my every step. Though I have let go of much of this dream, or how I can "make it" or what "move" can raise me into a better profile. I now dream to make a song that feels good to me, and a recording that can do the same to all who listen. Not super easy to do. Take me to the tree in the back yard where; 

I never rode the bus to school, not once. We'll, to be sure I would have to ask mom, but for my memory bank I have no school bus rides. I was always close enough to school to walk, until I got my first "real" bike. My first bike was a Schwinn 3 speed (it looked like a 10 speed though) When the seasons change, from summer to fall, I breath deep that smell, and remember walking to school or riding. It hits me every year, those "back to school" feelings. It's a mix of fear, and, well, fear. Let's add anxiety to that too. The thing is, now, when the smell outside change, and bring back the past, the fear and anxiety aren't there. The feelings are good. Just to magically be drawn back to childhood, is comforting. I guess I have my mother to thanks for that, and my grandmother, and aunts, and uncles.  The love shines through. The rest gets comforted.

At age 61 I finally found a sand dollar on the beach. I know it looks more like a dime, but I think it counts. Man, I've never had it so good.

If you look close you'll see me. I'm hiding behind my wife. This is a picture from the family bbq we had. Mom is at the head of the table, my brother Chris is next to her, and closest to the camera is Johnny, my nephew.  Farther back is my brother Tim, his girlfriend, Maria, and my wife Amber (then myself) At many points during this bbq I was happy, happy to hear all those familiar voices. The laughing, and talking, and eating, and it all bouncing around in our backyard. This is it, this is real. Life is good to me.

Chipping away in the studio. Next show is in Seattle, Nov. 21st. This weather in October is the best, October is my favorite.

That's Gordon and I on the Scenic Coastal Train.  Amber took the picture, and we all had a nice time. The train goes from Rockaway Beach to Garibaldi (Oregon.) I am not discontent in this picture. I would return home 3 days after this picture, and show up to the MilROCKie event I helped organize. Running an event (not alone) that involves many bands and personalities is challenging for control freak like myself. I'm eternally convinced that if everyone just plays the rolls I've designated for them in my head, all will be so happy.  It's ego, and selfishness, and good intentions, and caring, and etc. etc. Like almost everything it's a mixed bag of function and disfunction. In this case the best thing for me do is see where I can be of service. So I tried to do that. It's a big wrestling match in my head. I'm helping with sound, and I just want to reach over the sound guys shoulder and do it all for him, or give him some good sage advice from the old pro (haha)
In the end I found out that things go just fine without my constant interjection. I am a human amongst humans. I am reaching for humility, and I fall short most days. I did ok at MilROCKie. Big thanks to B-Side records and Vintage, and to all the young people that worked hard to set up the event. And Mathias for doing sound (I think he's 17)

I feel working on the new album has stalled. Our intitial attempt at record gave mixed results. We shall regroup and try again. World, you're just going to have to be patient.

Can you believe a regular working stiff like myself could own a home? Even a home that just got new windows! I have walked the straight and good path for a good stretch, and that consistency has payed off.  
The government/politics/leaders of this country never fail to disappoint. Where there's opportunity to exploit, to get ahead through greed and power, our trusted servants rarely let us down. 
That said, and I don't think we're permitted to say it, the American dream does exist, and I am proof. You work hard, take care of yourself, and those you care about, and good things happen. No doubt it's a mixed bag in USA, and it will never be the ideal you want, not completely, so be a little kind in the face of it all.

My favorite shows are: Bewitched, The Partridge Family, and Dark Shadows (The Beginning)

I have some shows on the books now:
Aug. 29th- Seattle-Tim's Tavern
Sept. 19- Salem-Ben's Backyard
Sept. 26th- Portland- Haymaker
Nov. 21st- Seattle- Kenyon Hall
I will get more info on these shows as we get closer.
Barry